Big Changes- Armanno welcomes Emilio!

The morning of Sept.8th we started the induction process, Emilio was coming 2 weeks early just like his big brother because of me being a diabetic. Delivery went much more smoothly the second time around, more painful since I experienced back labour with Emilio but at least it wasn't as serious as the preeclampsia I had with Armanno.
We had Emilio late that night while Armanno was fast asleep at his grandmother's. The next day Armanno was due in for his very first visit, I had mixed emotions. I was so excited for Armanno to meet his new brother but it saddened me to think about Armanno seeing his mommy holding this new baby after already being away from me for almost 2 days. I think Armanno may have handled it better than I did, he was quiet but interested in the baby. All of our family made sure to give him lots of attention when the baby was around which really helped him adjust. Armanno got to hold his little brother and gave  him a big kiss. He seemed to be really into this whole brother thing, this may not be as difficult as I had imagined.

We were back home within a few days and the next couple of weeks were great, I was pleasantly surprised that Armanno showed some interest in the baby but not too much.  Armanno just did his own thing, but then he became comfortable and how I originally imagined it, became reality but to a much more difficult extent. He started smothering the baby with his hugs and kisses like he did with the kids at the park, the only difference was Emilio was totally defenseless.
His attention to the baby became more and more frequent and my ability to get anything done became impossible! I couldn't put Emilio down because Armanno would be on him right away. These behaviors were equivalent to spending the whole day at the park pulling Armanno off of kids except more extreme since Emilio was brand new. The intensity of emotions I was feeling because of this were overwhelming, I didn't know how to deal with all of it. So I tried my best with constant reminders for Armanno and found myself crying almost everyday! Maybe I wasn't cut out for this! I knew raising two kids compared to one was a lot harder but no one said it was this difficult.

 I tried to stay strong but it wasn't easy, I was exhausted with no family around  just me by myself in a small town with a handful of friends dealing with their own lives. Of course my husband Julianno was a huge help when he wasn't working but he worked full-time and extended hours somedays.
I had to motivate myself, I couldn't let a difficult task bring me down after all these were my children and I needed to be the best mom I could be for them, I tried to be positive and deal with these behaviors the best I knew how. I tried to live a more structured life with some sort of routine that would help pass the day by and keep Armanno occupied.

 I started taking an extra long route to the park! I wrapped the baby on my front and pushed Armanno in the stroller and walked everyday I could. Armanno loved the stroller and the park so it really broke up our day and helped me to stay positive. Then everything changed, time went by and Emilio was now 5 months and Julianno applied for a job in the city, which was great because it meant being closer to family and a better job within the military for our family. The only drawback was I would stay behind with the kids until we sold the house, at the time we thought it wouldn't take long, a few months at the most. I can do this I thought, I just have to mentally prepare myself and stay busy. Military wives do this all the time, I certainly wouldn't be the first and besides I had to count myself lucky, at least my husband wasn't off to war! he was going to be home every other weekend if not every weekend he wasn't working.

 I started back to playgroups and I was able to do programs at my local resource centre where I could send Armanno upstairs to child care which I called playgroup he looked forward to playgroup and it was a much needed break for me and the baby. Time went on and so did his behaviors, just when I thought it couldn't get much more difficult than this, it did. The child care, "playgroup for Armanno", which was supposed to be a break for me became a source of stress. Armanno's behaviors began extending into the child care and each time I went upstairs to get him I would be faced with the offside "talks" from the teachers, while all the other moms went on their ways without any issues! I attributed it to the fact that his dad was away and he wasn't dealing so well. I'm not sure they were convinced or maybe they could pick up on the fact that I myself wasn't convinced this was the problem, sure it added to it but there had to be more to this!