Official Diagnosis

We were finally settling into the new apartment and Armanno was so proud of his room. Every time someone came over it was the first place they would end up. Armanno in a very excited voice jumping up and down would say "come see my rum", " come see my rum". Once they agreed to go to his room, he would do this really funny low based stuttering laugh. It was so funny to see his reactions as people came to visit.

Armanno was transitioning well and his behaviors were slightly declining now that he had his dad back. But there was still the "burning question" in the back of my head. Does he have Aspergers? I had been in contact with the IWK and things were moving, but not fast enough. We were looking at another 5 to 6 months for the diagnosis.

Knowing that early intervention is huge with Autism, I worried we were waisting time! That's when I started looking into our health insurance. We were entitled to coverage for a psychologist. We had to pay upfront and be reimbursed. It would be worth it, with a diagnosis I could get Armanno the resources he needed. So we made the decision to seek out a child psychologist to do an assessment for autism. We were given a name, so I read up on her and set up an appointment. We got in pretty quickly  and could have the assessment done and over within a months time.  The assessment started the same way as the IWK, filling out a tremendous amount of papers.

The first appointment with the psychologist came after they received all of the completed papers. This was the parent interview, which Armanno was present for. This lasted about 2 hours and Armanno was considerably well behaved. Although he was exhibiting some of his behaviors. I was hoping the psychologist would pick up on them.

Our second appointment was strictly focused on Armanno. She was looking at things like his social interactions, his interactive play, his ability to focus, his cognitive development, etc. This lasted about 2 hrs, we would go back sometime after that for our results/feedback!

I went home still worrying, did she get enough from him in our appointment? Did she pick up on what I was picking up on? Was the assessment thorough enough? Well I guess I would know soon enough!

It was November 9th, the big day, I was going to my feedback appointment. I left the boys at home with my sister and went on my own. Julio was a day away from coming home. He had been on selection for military special forces the week leading up to this point.

I got to the psychologists office and was a bit nervous. I kept thinking where am I going to go from here if she tells me Armanno is a normally developing child. Well needless to say I didn't have to be worrying about that.

I know some of you are asking,  why on earth would she be worried about being told her child was normally developing? Well I needed answers, I was afraid the signs would be overlooked. I was afraid he would go undiagnosed and not be provided the resources that come with diagnosis. I was afraid other people wouldn't pick up on it until he was in school. He would spiral out of control and it would be much more difficult to handle at that point.

So the moment arrived she called my name and I prepared for the news. She went through all the different sections, saying that he had rated high on oppositional behavior, had issues with focus, did not interact socially as a normally developing child did. She continued with the fact that there is a good possibility he has ADHD but was a little too young to diagnose. And then the big one Autism, my ears were wide open. She said I have diagnosed Armanno with Autism specifically Aspergers. Aspergers is a high functioning form of Autism Spectrum Disorder. I stared at her and said ok and then started crying. She handed me a tissue and I said, I don't know why I'm crying, I knew all along. Apparently hearing it from a professional who is qualified to diagnose is a lot different then self- diagnosis. It was real now, but it was a type of relief for me. I could now seek the right kind of help for him.

She finished up by saving the best for last. Armanno scored high on cognitive development. For his overall cognitive skills he scored in the 90th pecentile at a 4yr olds level. At the time of assessment Armanno was 3yrs and 3 mths. His verbal skills were in the 90th pecentile, equivalent to a 4 yr 1 mth old. In performance skills he was in the 79th percentile at a 3yr 7mth olds level. But the score that blew me out of the water was his language score! He is in the 99th percentile for his language that is equivalent to a 4 yr 9 month old. No wonder we were shocked at some of the things that came out of his mouth. He was like a little 5 yr old in a 3 yr olds body.

We always knew Armanno was a smart boy and I've always been proud of him, this was just a little added bonus. Now we just had to work on his behaviors so he could be the best he could be.
In the end she asked me what I was expecting to hear from her? I said "to be honest I thought you were going to tell me he was perfectly normal". I told her that I had said to my sister on the way out, "if she tells me he is perfectly normal I'm going to have to go for an assessment because I must be crazy! Well turns out I'm not crazy, at least not when it comes to knowing my own child!
 

The Big Move

The summer was coming to an end and we were trying to hang in there. August went by with little interest in the house. September came and still no offers. We were getting discouraged but at least we had the move to look forward to.

A couple of weeks into September we went on our apt hunting trip. We ended up finding a great 3 bedroom just 15 mins into Halifax. I was so excited for Armanno to see the new place. He was going to have a nice big bedroom and a park just a walk away.

It was during that trip I got called for an interview. The interview was for a youth home, not far from the apartment we wanted. I ended up getting the job, now all we needed was the apartment. Within a few days we found out the apartment was ours starting October 1st, 2012. Things were finally falling into place and we were making the big move.

The packers came a few days prior of moving to pack the whole house for us,one of the perks of being military. Armanno was excited to move to Halifax since we had  lots of family there. What he wasn't excited about was having strange people in our house. They were there to pack but he didn't see it like that. He was very stern towards them and was accusing them of making a mess and breaking stuff.

After everything was cleared out we took the boys back to the house for one last walk through. Armanno started running around in a panic, breathing heavily in shock. He was going from room to room asking where furniture was. What happened to the couch, where's the tv, they ruined Emilio's room! His reaction was kind of funny, but it was sad at the same time. This is what he knew for the last 3 years, it was a big change for him.

The next four days were hectic and stressful. We spent those days in small hotel rooms with the boys. Of course it had too rain the whole move. Either Julio or I had to stay back at the house with the packers. This meant one of us would be with the kids stuck in a hotel room since it was raining. I didn't want to stay with the packers, in hindsight, maybe I should have. The commotion of the move was already starting to have an affect on Armanno. Being in the hotel room proved to be a lot tougher than I had imagined. Armanno was non- stop at Emilio, which turned into non-stop redirection and time-outs. It was a long day and we still had 3 more to go. I would be thankful when it was all over.

The week of our move was long and exhausting and we still had a ton of work to do. We now had to fit a big house into a much smaller apartment. Nonetheless we were excited and happy and so was Armanno, he loved his new room. We were able to go at the apartment non-stop, that way the transition for the boys would be easier. It was very tiring but well worth it, Armanno was  doing awesome with the move. I think we were all happy to be out of the hotel rooms. Still from time to time when we drive by the hotel Armanno will say "oh there is our old home".

Armanno turn 3

Armanno's 3rd birthday was approaching quickly. I had a great idea this year or so I thought! Armanno loved loved loved Toopy and Binoo. For those who aren't familiar with this cartoon, it's the one with the gray mouse "Toopy" and his little friend Binoo. This cartoon was the worse cartoon ever. It had no educational value whatsoever, well maybe it was good for promoting imagination, I'll give it that. Anyways point being, I decided to make him home-made Toopy & Binoo dolls. I was so excited, he was going to love them. I went out and picked up all the supplies which cost about 40 bucks.

I procrastinated making it, I do that with a lot of things. But none the less a few days prior to the big day, I started making this doll from scratch. I guess I had under estimated the time it took to pull off this project. I found myself getting closer to his birthday and scrambling to get it finished. I wanted it to be perfect for him. By the end of it I had my husband and his friend working on it with me. I even ended up missing the first 30 mins of his birthday party trying to put the finishing touches on it.

So the moment arrived and I had Toopy all ready to go in a gift bag. I wasn't able to get Binoo finished. I handed it over to Armanno to open, preparing myself for his intense excitement over Toopy. Well Armanno opened that bag with a bit of hesitation and a very serious face. He pulled Toopy the mouse out and stared at it with a straight face and said nothing at all. No expression, no excitement, no words. I said "Armanno", in a very excited voice, " who is it?". He replied "Mousie?" I said  " no it's Toppy". Armanno gave me a quiet "oh" and put it back in the bag.

All the anxiety of getting this doll perfected and finished and that was the reaction I got! Well that's the last time I make something so special! But it wasn't just me, everyone had gotten him all these cool gifts and he was expressionless to them all. Except these two gifts in particular. One was a very simple small army tank that drove on its own and silly putty. He went nuts over the silly putty. He was so excited, jumping up and down like he had won the lottery. It was at that point I realized I didn't need to waste my money on gifts for Armanno I could just give him silly putty!

The 5 months leading up to Armanno's birthday without Julio seemed to go by fast. Although it went by quick I was exhausted and both Julio and I were really missing being together as a family. Armanno was also not dealing with it very well. He was mad at Julio, he didn't understand why Dad was barely ever around. Armanno wouldn't talk to Julio on the phone and wouldn't do FaceTime with him. He kept saying, I don't like dad. Julio knew it was just Armanno's way of dealing with the fact that he missed his Dad, but it was still heartbreaking. We both came to the realization that we were not going to be able to continue being apart for much longer. I needed Julio's help with Armanno and more importantly Armanno needed his dad back. We decided if we didn't sell the house by sept we would pack everything up and find an apartment in Halifax. So that's what we ended up having to do!